The little things…

Every day I correspond with people suffering from ALS and those caring for them. I’ve also crossed paths with many others suffering from other terminal conditions. The range of emotions they share runs a gamut that would baffle Sigmund Freud. Those who have just received the news are most often terrified of what is to come and have no idea which direction to turn. After six months they have usually learned to live with the diagnosis and are struggling with how to cope with their new normal. Many are very bitter and a few are looking for the quickest way out. As I write back and forth with all those touched by Lou Gehrig’s disease, I have one tag line that I use repeatedly…Find joy wherever you can, then share it. But how do I do that considering what the doctors have told me to expect?

Every morning I wake up and thank God that I have one more day to share with Amy. Lately I’ve also been waking up nose-to-nose with Diesel, and that never fails to put a huge smile on my face. That’s immediately followed by a fast trip to the back yard for his morning pee. Just one more reason to say thank you for not having to clean up another little mess. And thus, each day begins with the little things.

The other day I had a fellow teacher challenge me to find a little thing to be thankful for, or an unexpected place I find joy. It didn’t take me long to come up with one that startled her. My answer… dandelions. She knows how much I care for our yard and couldn’t believe that dandelions would be anywhere but on my most-hated list. It is true, I don’t like dandelions. And I have no problem pulling or spraying them when they invade my yard. But that doesn’t mean I can’t find joy in their temporary presence.

The first thing that usually draws your attention is that yellow flower, immediately followed by a groan and a trip to the shed for weed control. Next time, before you pull the trigger, take a second to look up close at that flower. I find it truly beautiful with its hundreds of petals, perfectly symmetrical, and bright yellow color (hopefully framed by my lush, green lawn). Of course, if you’re a day or two late with that weed killer, you’re rewarded with the beautiful puff ball of seeds. A perfect white sphere getting ready wreak havoc on all your hard work. While this means nothing but future trouble in your yard, that small white ball, again, can be stunningly appealing when viewed up close.

These are the types of things I hope to make apparent to those I encounter in the darkest places. If they can get outside, I encourage them to do so and to look for the slightest thing that could make them happy. It could be a bird, a leaf, a flower, a smell, a cloud, or even a wisp of wind. If they’re parents, I encourage them to look at their kids and celebrate what they’ve created and look forward to what they can become, carrying forward a legacy of love.

For many fellow PALS, getting outside is very difficult, if not impossible. Despite this, I still believe joy can be found in any circumstance and I’ve run across numerous individuals with ALS showing me how. As you may have read in many of my posts, memories can bring back some blasts from the past. With the passing of George Wendt last week (NORM!), I watched some of my favorite Cheers episodes and I can’t believe how enjoyable that was. Over the years there have been so many great half hour sitcoms. I’m so old I remember I Love Lucy, Gilligan’s Island, The Beverly Hillbillies, F Troop, Green Acres, and even The Andy Griffith Show. We featured these shows when I worked at the college bars. One of my favorite nights in college was the series finale of M*A*S*H. I continued that trend in the bar business in Chicago. For years we showed Seinfeld followed by Friends every Thursday night. These shows and others brought me joy and still do today.

For those few who know my real name, you’ll understand why this picture is so appropriate…

I bet you’ll smile if you listen to those two songs…

Stepping away from what my grandmother used to call the “idiot box,” I can still recommend so many other little things to bring joy. The easiest is reading. I love to read. With today’s technology, there are so many options to lose yourself in a good book. Find a theme, author, series, period of time, or any interest, and get lost in the words for a while. I could, and probably will, write several entries on my love of reading.

Another one of my favorite things that brings me joy (and peace) is nothing. Sitting in a quiet house, counting my blessings, letting the day’s troubles wrestle with themselves for a while (although this has been a little challenging with Diesel demanding all my attention the last couple of weeks). I found that spending time thinking about all the things I’ve been thankful for over the years can be rather daunting, so I’ve begun picking a certain time period of my life and working backward or forward. I also often assign a theme like friends, pets, cars, places, jobs, and vacations. If we had kids, I’m sure that could fill a few days on its own.

And after nearly 25 years together, the place I still find the most joy is being near my best friend (sorry KP, it’s not you this time… and we’ve had a lot more than 25 years together). I can’t wait for the end of the day, when all the tasks are done, and Amy and I can sit next to each other and just hold hands. It took a long time for her to adjust to how quiet I can be, but she’s learned that sharing a touch says it all.

Heading toward the end of this week’s post, I’d like to present a challenge to everyone reading this week. The next time you give or receive a parting kiss from a long-term partner, linger just a bit longer than normal, showing that you recognize what you’re doing and who you’re sharing it with. It will amaze you at how it makes you feel, and I’ll bet your partner will appreciate it as well, as soon as they get over the surprise. Also, grab his or her hand at an unexpected time, give it a squeeze, and don’t let go. You don’t have to say I love you to show I love you.

As I write these final words, I’ve learned that the daughter of a very dear friend lost her battle with cancer. I can’t imagine how her family feels because I can’t seem to find the words to suit how I feel. I’m sorry, my heart aches, “I love you” is all I can come up with. One song came to mind that I hope he and his family can find a little solace in is by Brad Paisley:

This is a another prayer I learned from our pastor that I pray each morning just to get the day started on the right foot:

Good morning, Heavenly Father. Good morning, Lord Jesus. Good morning, Holy Spirit.

Heavenly Father, I worship you as the creator and sustainer of the universe. Lord Jesus, I worship you as savior and Lord of the world. Holy Spirit, I worship you as the sanctifier of the people of God. Glory to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever.

Heavenly Father, I pray that I can live this day in your presence and please you more and more.

Lord Jesus, I pray that this day you will give me the strength, the knowledge, and the courage to pick up my cross and follow you.

Holy Spirit, I pray that this day you will fill me with yourself and cause your fruit to ripen in my life with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Holy and glorious Trinity, three persons in one God. Please forgive me of my sins. Please lead me from temptation. Please help me live this, and every day, as a good example to others and to never lead anyone astray.

Wrapping up this week, I want to thank you all for being one of my little things. To those who have posted and written, you’ve all put a smile on my face. To those who have called, you all have touched my heart. And to all who have sent prayers, well wishes, and just good thoughts….your little things keep me going.

I pray you all have a great weekend, making memories to carry with you throughout your life.

God bless.

Coach